In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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