one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
