Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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