I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
