Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Randomize
