yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
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Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
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Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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