honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
