shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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