So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
