My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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