They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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