Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
