I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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