i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I can't turn off my feet"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
