In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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