just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Alive.
So much puke
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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