Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
