I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
