I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
