my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
