She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
