i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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