whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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