sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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