how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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