i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
