Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
