She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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