everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Green mimosas i think yes
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
