I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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