You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We're too hungover to prance.
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