I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
