I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
