I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
