u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
