My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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