Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
