Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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