I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize