You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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