I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
