We named our party play list daddy issues
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
