There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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