babies were throwing up all over the place
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
