The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
