can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
