First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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