Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
