Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
