I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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