no, he came in my armpit
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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