A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
This is the high leading the old right now
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
