So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
