Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
