How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
