Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
