Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Houston, we have a squirter
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
