Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
