just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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