We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.