so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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