I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
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she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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